Our blog began as a way to share the journey of our Ghanaian adoption with our friends and family. It soon became a place to share the joys and trials of living a faith-filled life as the parents of an extra large homeschooling family, and to encourage others to live their lives as an adventure of faith, as well.
Father, please comfort our sister. Please protect her heart and show her exactly what You want her to see and know during this trial!
Please give her and her husband wisdom as they walk this journey!
Please give them peace that can only come from You!
Lord, we need You now to do the work to begin healing from the hurt done to this family, in this family and by those causing the pain. We ask that You have victory where there has been a war raging. We ask that You make Yourself known in a new way to those causing the pain.
Father, we want to see Your glory in this trial. We want to bring honor and glory to You during the trials You allow for our good. Please work in this family to ensure Your glory is seen!
I think that its ok to say "I can't come to the wedding" and to send a nice note. Its ok really- people will understand. I know that you are like me and hate to back out on plans but put yourself and your sanity/well being first. We are praying for you all.
Hi. Mom to 14 sounds really wise. Have you considered the amount of time you spend away from your family? As an adoptee myself and an adoptive mom, I know the extra challenges brought to adoptive parenting and know that lifestyle changes are required for the success of the adopted children and therefore the success of the family unit. For myself, my many adopted siblings, and now my children by adoption who are old enough to verbalize, separation from mom is TRAUMATIC, even if for only one overnight. I know I have had to put my other ministries aside for a season and in doing so the children have led me into new ones, just unexpected ones. Just something to consider (but you probably have already!). Many blessings on your during this time, Jennifer
I just texted Cassie and asked her to give you a BIG hug from me. Hopefully she gets the message in time to deliver. :)
Last night, your family was heavy on my heart. I couldn't sleep and almost got up to see if you had posted. Wish I had. But I was praying, praying, praying. My heart aches for you guys right now.
Right now, in the background, Tenth Avenue North's "By Your Side" is playing. I'm sure you've heard it on the radio, but here's the chorus: "I'll be by your side wherever you fall. In the dead of night whenever you call. Please don't fight, these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you." It seemed fitting to share. The Lord is holding you and your family in His strong hands. He will use these difficult times for good. He will have the victory! He will fight the battles for His precious children!
Praying right now that the wedding will be a time of JOY for you in the midst of the crises. Praying that you will have strength to smile and celebrate with your dear friends. Praying that God will begin to bring healing, peace, and wisdom TODAY!!!!!
I must say that I was quite surprised by the comment by Jennifer (adopted 1).
I do not believe that she has ever commented before, and to leave such an accusatory comment when someone is in the midst of crisis is really not appropriate. If there has been true concern about the "amount of time I spend away from my family", than a personal, caring email would have been the best way to share that concern.
As for the wedding today ... it was a family event ... I was neither "leaving the family" nor was I "spending a night away". I attended the wedding, with my husband and 11 of my 13 children. We left at 9:00 this morning and returned at 9:00 this evening.
While I appreciated Mother of 14's sound advice ... it was not an event that could be skipped. Because, my sweet 12 year old daughter had just spent 3 weeks at her big sister's house (400 miles away), and we were picking her up at the wedding (only 200 mile drive for each of us).
Now, a question for "adopted 1" ... have you ever considered how much time I spend WITH my family. I no longer work outside the home. I am home with my children almost 24/7. I go weeks at a time without ever leaving my house, except for the weekly trip to church with my family, and the occasional trip to the park or beach with my children. I homeschool my children, so they are home with me all day every day. I have not been involved in ministry this year. I have not been involved in a homeschool support group this year. None of my younger 6 children were involved in sports this year. No ... we have stayed home this year ... spending time with our children.
Your questions/statements seem to imply that you believe we have not been successful in our parenting, because I have been unwilling to make the necessary lifestyle changes. I assure you, the challenges we are going through right now have NOTHING to do with the fact that I am gone for a night or two every few months, nor the fact that I went to Ghana for 17 days last month.
Yes, it is important for our children to know that Mama will always be there for them. However, in our family, Papa is just as important. And, the older siblings play a BIG role, too. So, when Mama is gone ... Papa or the older siblings are always available for the kids. Our kids are not left with babysitters or extended family ... they ALWAYS have their immediate family surrounding them.
I know that we all have different parenting philosophies, and that each of our children have different parenting needs. I hope that we can respect the differences that show the individuality in each of our families. I know some families that are successful, when mom works outside the home. I know some families that are successful when their children go to school full-time. I know some families that are successful when mom spends many hours per week volunteering. I hope that we can learn to not limit the definition of "successful families", to those that happen to "look like ours".
I am not angry with Jennifer ... just sad that she didn't contact me personally with her concerns, prior to this time of crisis.
Thanks so much for stopping in to leave a comment. I hope you will read other comments, as well, and reply if you'd like. I am BLESSED by the discussion we can have through this comment section.
praying for you
ReplyDeletehang in there laurel. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeletePraying for you now Laurel!
ReplyDeleteFather, please comfort our sister. Please protect her heart and show her exactly what You want her to see and know during this trial!
Please give her and her husband wisdom as they walk this journey!
Please give them peace that can only come from You!
Lord, we need You now to do the work to begin healing from the hurt done to this family, in this family and by those causing the pain. We ask that You have victory where there has been a war raging. We ask that You make Yourself known in a new way to those causing the pain.
Father, we want to see Your glory in this trial. We want to bring honor and glory to You during the trials You allow for our good. Please work in this family to ensure Your glory is seen!
We love You Lord! In Jesus' name - AMEN!
Hugs Laurel. Here for you!
Jill
Praying & thinking of you during this hard time. Hang in there, mama...
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Laurel, and praying as led.
ReplyDeleteSatan will NOT have the victory in this situation. We will put on the full armour of God and fight with you through prayer....Gid WILL be victorious.
ReplyDeletePraying for your family Laurel.
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you!!!! Praying for God to give you peace in your heart, and all of those in your family!!!
ReplyDeleteAww...Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteJennine
I think that its ok to say "I can't come to the wedding" and to send a nice note. Its ok really- people will understand. I know that you are like me and hate to back out on plans but put yourself and your sanity/well being first.
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you all.
Hi. Mom to 14 sounds really wise. Have you considered the amount of time you spend away from your family? As an adoptee myself and an adoptive mom, I know the extra challenges brought to adoptive parenting and know that lifestyle changes are required for the success of the adopted children and therefore the success of the family unit. For myself, my many adopted siblings, and now my children by adoption who are old enough to verbalize, separation from mom is TRAUMATIC, even if for only one overnight. I know I have had to put my other ministries aside for a season and in doing so the children have led me into new ones, just unexpected ones. Just something to consider (but you probably have already!). Many blessings on your during this time, Jennifer
ReplyDeleteI just texted Cassie and asked her to give you a BIG hug from me. Hopefully she gets the message in time to deliver. :)
ReplyDeleteLast night, your family was heavy on my heart. I couldn't sleep and almost got up to see if you had posted. Wish I had. But I was praying, praying, praying. My heart aches for you guys right now.
Right now, in the background, Tenth Avenue North's "By Your Side" is playing. I'm sure you've heard it on the radio, but here's the chorus:
"I'll be by your side wherever you fall.
In the dead of night whenever you call.
Please don't fight, these hands that are holding you.
My hands are holding you."
It seemed fitting to share. The Lord is holding you and your family in His strong hands. He will use these difficult times for good. He will have the victory! He will fight the battles for His precious children!
Praying right now that the wedding will be a time of JOY for you in the midst of the crises. Praying that you will have strength to smile and celebrate with your dear friends. Praying that God will begin to bring healing, peace, and wisdom TODAY!!!!!
Love you so much!!! Here if you need me :)
Praying, praying, praying,
Vicky
Continued prayer for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLaurel,
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you.
Peace and grace,
Kimberly
I must say that I was quite surprised by the comment by Jennifer (adopted 1).
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that she has ever commented before, and to leave such an accusatory comment when someone is in the midst of crisis is really not appropriate. If there has been true concern about the "amount of time I spend away from my family", than a personal, caring email would have been the best way to share that concern.
As for the wedding today ... it was a family event ... I was neither "leaving the family" nor was I "spending a night away". I attended the wedding, with my husband and 11 of my 13 children. We left at 9:00 this morning and returned at 9:00 this evening.
While I appreciated Mother of 14's sound advice ... it was not an event that could be skipped. Because, my sweet 12 year old daughter had just spent 3 weeks at her big sister's house (400 miles away), and we were picking her up at the wedding (only 200 mile drive for each of us).
Now, a question for "adopted 1" ... have you ever considered how much time I spend WITH my family. I no longer work outside the home. I am home with my children almost 24/7. I go weeks at a time without ever leaving my house, except for the weekly trip to church with my family, and the occasional trip to the park or beach with my children. I homeschool my children, so they are home with me all day every day. I have not been involved in ministry this year. I have not been involved in a homeschool support group this year. None of my younger 6 children were involved in sports this year. No ... we have stayed home this year ... spending time with our children.
Your questions/statements seem to imply that you believe we have not been successful in our parenting, because I have been unwilling to make the necessary lifestyle changes. I assure you, the challenges we are going through right now have NOTHING to do with the fact that I am gone for a night or two every few months, nor the fact that I went to Ghana for 17 days last month.
Yes, it is important for our children to know that Mama will always be there for them. However, in our family, Papa is just as important. And, the older siblings play a BIG role, too. So, when Mama is gone ... Papa or the older siblings are always available for the kids. Our kids are not left with babysitters or extended family ... they ALWAYS have their immediate family surrounding them.
I know that we all have different parenting philosophies, and that each of our children have different parenting needs. I hope that we can respect the differences that show the individuality in each of our families. I know some families that are successful, when mom works outside the home. I know some families that are successful when their children go to school full-time. I know some families that are successful when mom spends many hours per week volunteering. I hope that we can learn to not limit the definition of "successful families", to those that happen to "look like ours".
I am not angry with Jennifer ... just sad that she didn't contact me personally with her concerns, prior to this time of crisis.
Laurel