When Family & Friends Reject God's Call on Your Life

I have been struck recently, by how many of my Real Life Friends and Bloggy Friends are really struggling because of the lack of support from their family and friends.  When they absolutely believe that the Lord has called them ... has specifically ordained them ... for a task; yet, their friends and/or family absolutely believe that they are making the worst decision of their lives.  It is just SO SAD to me.




Has that every happened to you?


How have you responded?




My Sweet Real Life Friend Bridget found out in December that she was expecting Baby #6.  They waited awhile to tell anyone.  They weren't looking forward to the backlash.  They finally put together the GREATEST little video announcement (go HERE to see it ... it's WONDERFUL).   Then, they emailed the announcement to their friends and family and turned off their phones for awhile because they didn't want to deal with the negative comments.  SAD!  Just. So. Sad.  She, of course, knew that Mama D. would be THRILLED!




My Wonderful Bloggy Friend Jessica announced a couple of months ago that she and her husband (along with their 6 children under 7 years old) had decided to move to Africa for full-time missions work.  She wrote THIS post about how heavy her heart was, because of the "comments and rejection and overall disapproval" shown my family members.  She is HURTING, because those closest to her choose not to love her and support her.  Even if they don't understand, couldn't they still CHOOSE to love and support this family???




My Amazing Real Life Friend Amy and her husband decided last year to begin the process of going on the mission field full-time, as well ... with 7 of their 9 children (2 will be college-age, and will stay in the U.S.).  Here is what Amy had to say last month in THIS post:

One thing I am learning is that most people feel comfortable as long as we are just ‘lukewarm’ Christians. Lukewarm, as in, Christians who attend church and claim to know Jesus- and that's about as far as it gets. But the second you do anything radical like adopt a child of a different race or a child with special needs or announce that you are going to give up everything you have ever owned and move to another country to serve the Lord-they are not so comfortable with it anymore.  Why is that?

So far we have literally been disowned by one family member. We have endured the ‘you are crazy’ comment more than I can count. We have been told we have 'given up on Americans’ and asked why we would do this to our children. We have been told that we will regret it- with a few more "you are crazy" added in. We have been asked why we would even want to move to Guatemala and told flat out not to expect financial support from them. We have been told that "all missionaries do is beg people for their money" and mocked for saying the Lord has called us to the mission field.

Do you ever get these types of comments and/or questions?

How do you respond?

I guess I'm just plain tired of how  people treat each other ... expecting everyone to fit into the same little "box".  I am SAD for my friends.  Can you imagine how boring life would be if God created each of us to be exactly alike?!?!  If we all had the same callings, annointings, passions???

We have lived with negative comments for so many years, that sometimes I can stand up and do what God has called me to do, and let the negative reactions just slide off my back.  Other times, however, I too am hurt.  I so want others to understand the life that God has called us to ... even if it doesn't fit in any type of "box" ... even if it is totally "not normal".  And, even if they don't understand it, I just wish they would still be able to love us despite a difference of opinion.

I guess I'm just tired of being judged.

We've been judged harshly, for many years, by family and friends, for having "too many children".

We were judged harshly by family members when we chose to educate our children at home.

We've been judged harshly by the homeschooling community when we've chosen to have our children participate in some of the public school programs.

We've been judged as "too conservative" by other church members, for many years.  (We haven't allowed our children to be involved in every Youth Group activity that the other kids at church have been allowed to be involved in.)

We've been judged as "rebellious" by the ultra-conservative homeschool community.  (We listen to contemporary Christian music, and not just hymns.  We read the N.I.V. Bible, rather than the King James.  We allow Mama and the girls to wear jeans.)

We were judged harshly when we decided to adopt, and add to our already full-house of 10 bio. kids.

We were judged harshly by some in the adoption community, when we chose to parent our adopted children differently than some families choose to.  (We didn't take them to Disneyland.  We didn't take them to T*ys R Us.  We didn't put on HUGE parties for them.)

We were judged harshly when we made the most difficult decision of our life, to disrupt the adoption of one of our children (in order to protect our 5 younger children from a very serious situation).

We were judged when we chose to give up the security of Papa's teaching job, in order to go into full-time ministry.

And, 2 months ago, while comments were few, I'm sure that we were judged when Papa chose to give up his ministry job in order to move home with the family (even though he didn't yet have another job lined up).

Why can't people (especially Believers) realize how painful their judgement and rejection is?

Why can't people accept that God has called each of us to very different lifestyles ... missions ... ministry ... ?

Why am I passionate about this ... right now ... today ???

Not only am I sad for the 3 friends that I mentioned above, but I am preparing myself mentally for more backlash to come ... more negative comments ... more judgement.

The Lord has shown us a new Puzzle Piece for our life journey ... a new path that we will be walking.  The Big Picture is still totally fuzzy ... we are still praying for clear direction ... but He has shown us one of the puzzle pieces (and it's a pretty big piece of the puzzle).

I am sad when I think about the fact that I KNOW we will be judged harshly ... that I KNOW we will be criticized ... that I KNOW we will be misunderstood.

God HAS given us TOTAL peace about this Puzzle Piece ... and I know that my friends also have God's peace in each of their situations.  But ... it still makes me sad ... VERY sad.

I hope that we will all be praying for those that bring judgement on us.

I hope that we never turn from what God calls us to, because of fear of judgement.

I hope that we can BOLDLY walk forward, in FAITH, even when the world questions us ... criticizes us ... or laughs at us.

Thanks for standing with us on this most adventurous journey that the Lord has for the Big D. Family.

UPDATE:  This seems to be a popular topic today.  Courtney just wrote a post today called "Walk in Their Shoes" about the judgment that is passed on families that have to make the heart-wrenching decision to disrupt an adoption.