Keeping It Real

As I've mentioned many times ... I like to be "Real" ... and I like it when others are "Real" about their lives, too.  I am just not in to writing or reading "Fairy Tale" blogs.


A couple of bloggy friends were "Real" this week, and I could so relate.




Anita's older kids had been gone for a couple of days.  Here is how she described life when they came home,


"This afternoon the big kids came home and the decibel level skyrocketed! [It didn't help that Taevy told her grandparents she needed to take her ADHD medication only once a day rather than 3 times a day!] The stress level went up. The arguments increased. These all sound like bad things, but I sure do like it better when all of my kids are together. As dysfunctional as we are, we were placed together to make this family. It doesn't feel right any other way."


Thanks, Anita, for being REAL with us!  LOVE it!


Have any of you ever been told that your family is "dysfunctional"?  


Are you judged because you're "not normal"?


You know what ... we aren't normal either.  We each have our issues.  None of us are perfect.  Dad's not perfect.  Mom's not perfect.  None of our kids are perfect.  But ... we are FAMILY, imperfect that we are, and that is what matters most.




Dorothy had this to say this week ...


"Parenting kids with FASD's often puts moms and dads onto an emotional roller coaster with no end in site and some sort of crazy unseen program running the controls.  Life can be exhausting, overwhelming, terrifying and just plain hard  - it can be intense enough to break the strongest parenting plan and melt the most type A person into a sobbing emotional puddle in the corner.  We can also drift through smooth seasons which renew us and moments of intense clarity where we find an overwhelming gratitude for the goodness of God in designing our families exactly the way they are."


Yes.  


Oh. So. Right. There. With. You. Dorothy.


FASD or RAD or any number of abbreviations that go beside our traumatized children's names make life HARD.  It can be truly exhausting, overwhelming, and terrifying.  It can melt us into a "sobbing emotional puddle in the corner".  But ... it IS God who "designed our families exactly the way they are".  


Yes.




My sweet friend, Sarah also emailed this week with a simple, 


"What a messy life we have sometimes, Laurel."


Oh. So. True.




But ... it was God who brought all of us imperfect and dysfunctional people together and said, "It is good."  He created each of our families ... in all their messiness.  He knew we would not be perfect.  He knew we would make mistakes.  But ... we are NOT a mistake.  God didn't say, "Oops!" when He brought each member of our family together.  He created us ... He designed us .... as individuals and as a family.




We may look like a mismatched group of "dysfunctional" people ... but our families were created by God's design.


Our traumatized children can bring unimaginable pain into our families ... but that doesn't mean that we are bad parents.


Life can get "messy" ... but that doesn't mean that we've done something wrong.




I hope this will encourage you to "Just Be Real".


I hope this will show you that you aren't the only family who's life is "messy" sometimes (or all the time).


I hope this will encourage you to celebrate your family's differences ... to rejoice in being "not normal".


I hope we can each thank God for designing our families ... no matter how "not normal" ... how dysfunctional ... how messy our lives can get.  He is the Creator ... the Designer ... and He will give us all that we need to do what He has called us to do within each of our messy lives.