... More Often with Children with R.A.D.
This is the doorway from our kitchen to our hallway.
That is a smoke alarm above the doorway.
Little Miss was in the kitchen with 3 brothers when she said,
"I bet I can jump up and touch the fire extinguisher."
(Not quite a fire extinguisher, but they knew what she meant.)
Little Miss didn't think things through.
Little Miss didn't have the ability to jump so high.
Little Miss didn't process what could happen
if she didn't jump straight up ... nor where she could land.
Little Miss backed up into the dining room
to get a running start.
Little Miss' knees hit the wall here.
Little Miss' face hit the wall straight on.
She didn't even think to put her arms out.
Probably good, though, because her hands
might have made 2 holes, as well.
Little Miss has made no apology.
Little Miss has shown no remorse.
Papa & Mama are so sad for Little Miss ...
... sad that she doesn't know how to think things through.
... sad that she can't understand cause & effect.
... sad that she refuses to say, "I'm sorry."
... sad that she doesn't understand why we can't allow
her to do everything her brothers do, because it is
Just. Not. Safe.
In 27 years of parenting ...
with 11 other children ...
1 big brother (home from Iraq)
punched a hole in the wall once ...
1 younger brother kicked a hole
in a closet door once ...
Oh yes ...
I just remembered ...
many years ago 1 sister pushed another sister
into a wall, which resulted in a hole.
But ...
that's it ...
with a dozen children ...
we just don't "do" holes in the wall.
So sad.
So hard.
Oh ...
in case you are wondering ...
it's not "just the wall" that makes me sad ...
it's the whole lack of cause & effect understanding ...
it's the lack or remorse ...
it's the whole big picture with Little Miss.
And ...
just in case you're wondering ...
it's not just holes in the walls that our R.A.D.
children have brought ...
oh. my. no.
In 27 years of parenting ...
with 11 other children ...
I think 1 big brother got a concussion once,
while playing high school football.
Then, there is Little Miss.
She has had 3 concussions in 4 years.
Oh.
Yes.
Then there were the broken windows.
In 27 years of parenting ...
with 11 other children ...
we've only had 1 broken window.
Then ...
after we brought the children home from Ghana ...
we had 2 broken windows in 2 years ...
and the rearview mirror ripped off of a car the 3rd year.
Yes.
It is the
WHOLE BIG UGLY PICTURE
that makes me sad.
And ...
most of all ...
sad for my precious daughter who
just. plain. doesn't. know. how.
to THINK much of the time.
I'm sorry to hear about it... I was wondering if there are any RAD kids out there, who has similar experiences, and later on, grew out of RAD (or overcame it) and as adults, are able to explain how they grew out of it? From a RAD kid/adult's point of view, that should be interesting to read about, I guess, and shed more light to it? Just thinking out aloud.
ReplyDeletePraying that He will give you much grace through this and help little Miss realise that it is RAD behaviour she is displaying and for her to be able to choose to turn from it.
Oh my goodness....I can relate to this SO much!!! I emailed you a few months back to ask your advice about a situation with our daughter. Not sure if you remember or not. Anyway, that very child has since turned 18, and now wants nothing to do with our family. My heart is hurting SO very much right now. I just appreciate your openness about this. Even just knowing that I am not alone in my experience is comforting.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and your family!
I'm the mom of a 19 year old boy, diagnosed with RAD shortly before we adopted him at 16. He lived with us since he was 13. Our house will never be the same. Short of tearing out all the sheet rock and flooring and starting over it's hopeless. I look at ALL those patches and see them as battle scars. Our whole family carries those scars on our souls but when you look at the wall, floors and furniture in our home, you can visibly see them.
ReplyDeleteOh I HEAR ya! We walk the same path and yes it is so hard!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs,
Lisa
Susan ... that would definitely be a great book to read. Hope someone writes it sometime.
ReplyDeleteCindy ... sorry for what you are walking through. I left a few comments on your blog today. Keep your head up.
Tracy ... "our whole family carries the scars on our souls" Oh. How. True.
Lisa ... thanks for the hugs. Always appreciated.
:) :) :)
I hear you!!!! UGH!!!! :( So many broken, ruined things.....can't even begin to count it all!!!!
ReplyDeleteCompared to many others our home and belongings are relatively unscathed (at least for my younger 2 RADishes). I struggle with the intentionality because we all know most of what our kids do is intentional. It's just an outward sign of internal heart problem. For your reader above who wants to know if it can get better, you could direct them to my blog. You know my S is doing so well but at 13 we're definitely not done yet with living! The difference in her and her brother are monumental at times but he, too, is moving slowly, slowly forward. Here's to hoping you AND your home can survive the battle!
ReplyDelete